Social Media and Psychology

Image by Tonyç via FlickrSocial medai makes sense if you understand how people are. A good insight into people helps you build genuine empathy and relationships.

But there are many ways of understanding what makes people tick.

Salespeople read books like Robert Cialdini's Influence (a good book for what it is) and learn how to press the right buttons to get what they want. It's transactional, in disguise as relational.

Screenwriters observe people for the sheer pleasure of it. Because they can't help it. There is just something about people. Then they create characters that make people go OMG! That's just like someone I know ... maybe even me!

Both study people, for different reasons.

Generation C is looking for authenticity and relationship, which makes life hard for the salesperson and very interesting for the screenwriter.

Both people live in each of us. The screenwriter comes out when our basic needs are met, when we have the leisure to be curious.

The salesperson comes out when we need results!

It comes back to the phrase, do you love things and use people, or use things and love people?

Five steps to Socratic Listening

I've been reading Socratic Listening, a free whitepaper put out by the folks at Communispond, and it had some wise words to say about the process of listening ... really listening.

Here's my cut-down, reworded summary:

1. provocative question. Not provocative as in "why are you so freakin' ugly?" ... but as in "what prompted your interest in..." - something that elicits a story. Stories are powerful.
2. listen. Really really really listen.
3. playback in order to get clarification. Not just parroting back their words, but clarifying the ideas they're expressing, using logic to tie together different things they've said, getting a full understanding.
4. demonstrate knowledge by asking knowledgeable questions. Don't demonstrate knowledge by saying stuff you know. It only makes you feel good, but can be really distracting.
5. don't miss the question behind the question. People may not want the answer, they want to learn something else. "why do you ask?"

For example, the author of the e-book once had someone ask if Communispond provided executive training. He launched into a big sales pitch about how many senior execs they'd trained, and at such a high level. Turns out the client actually was sick of companies only focusing on the top, and instead wanted someone who focused on middle managers. The question wasn't what it seemed to be.

Well worth a proper read, if you've enjoyed my little summary.

Next on my reading list, TomPeters!' 111 thoughts about selling.