Five steps to Socratic Listening

I've been reading Socratic Listening, a free whitepaper put out by the folks at Communispond, and it had some wise words to say about the process of listening ... really listening.

Here's my cut-down, reworded summary:

1. provocative question. Not provocative as in "why are you so freakin' ugly?" ... but as in "what prompted your interest in..." - something that elicits a story. Stories are powerful.
2. listen. Really really really listen.
3. playback in order to get clarification. Not just parroting back their words, but clarifying the ideas they're expressing, using logic to tie together different things they've said, getting a full understanding.
4. demonstrate knowledge by asking knowledgeable questions. Don't demonstrate knowledge by saying stuff you know. It only makes you feel good, but can be really distracting.
5. don't miss the question behind the question. People may not want the answer, they want to learn something else. "why do you ask?"

For example, the author of the e-book once had someone ask if Communispond provided executive training. He launched into a big sales pitch about how many senior execs they'd trained, and at such a high level. Turns out the client actually was sick of companies only focusing on the top, and instead wanted someone who focused on middle managers. The question wasn't what it seemed to be.

Well worth a proper read, if you've enjoyed my little summary.

Next on my reading list, TomPeters!' 111 thoughts about selling.

This video should play in every church

Spotted on ThinkChristian.

While I think it's absolutely worthwhile for Christians to get out and about a bit, and see how others perceive them, it's also good for "the other side" to examine some of their own prejudices.

Case in point: Dr Dave came across someone at the APA get-together recently who was looking into the prejudices of researchers when they labelled as "homophobic" those who believe homosexual behaviour is morally wrong. Believing a behaviour is wrong is not the same as believing the person who does the behaviour is inferior or less than human. But don't get me started on that...

Another great example of inter-confessional learning I stumbled upon today is Revolution in Jesusland, a fascinating look into the evangelical Christian subculture by Zack Exley, a political progressive. Refreshing, thought-provoking. Thanks to David Weinberger for pointing it up on his blog.

Notice what I'm saying ... It's not just great that Zack is saying nice things about the church, but that he's really listening to what's being said. A little more of that from the church, and maybe as a society America could really get somewhere!

Meanwhile, in New Zealand... ? Hmmm.